2:00 am

It's not that I need to love someone (although I do)... it's that I'm missing being loved by someone else. It's gone. And I miss it. I want to know that I am important. There is no need for you to be so independent. Dependency is not a bad thing. You can depend on me if you want. In fact... I want you to. I want to be there for you. Call me if you're scared. Talk to me if you're lonely. I am still me. I haven't gone anywhere. And I am done burning bridges. I am done looking for happiness in materialistic things. I am done wasting time. But I'll never be done being there. For you or anyone else. Its all relational right? I'm diving in head first. And the days where my sin is running rampant... I lose connection. I become lost. Within days I become a zombie. If I keep my eyes on God.... everything else falls into place. I have tested it. I have seen it and felt it. It's very real. The nights I run have shown me that I'm still human. The nights when I don't think I can make it... I push through it and I feel like a monsoon. Its all work of a beautiful creator. Its one giant painting. I see art. I am art. You are art. I'll leave you with one question. What is more beautiful: A lonely lover or a lovely loner?