New Sounds In the Stereo

01. Nicolay & Kay - Time:Line
02. Oddisee - Foot In The Door
03. Emanon - The Waiting Room
04. D. Black - Ali'yah
05. People Under The Stairs - Carried Away
06. Away We Go (Soundtrack)
07. The Ambassador - Christology: In Laymen's Terms
08. Shad - The Old Prince
09. Tanya Morgan - the Bridge EP
10. Paul & Linda McCartney - Ram

What We All Want

I don't really know what I want. I don't really know what I need. I don't know what other people need. I feel confused a lot of the time... not really knowing what direction to go, what things to do or how to live my life properly. Life is interesting that way. It's a bit of a search.

Hip Hop Roots

Circa '96

No More

I'm cutting out all of the negative voices
I cut 'em out... I cut 'em out
I'm cutting out all of the negative voices
Because they are paramount

Burnt Offerings

Way back I used to call upon the Father often
I fought the devil last night and almost lost
Now I'm drinking bottled water... Flushing out the toxins
Vomiting and coughing feeling closer to the coffin
Than I ever had
Every morning that I arrive
Is a night that I survive
Just to be alive – sipping chai
And listening to my favorite DJ
Communicate the music, what my rhymes would say

Another Quote

"Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." - Thomas Merton

Transformed

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

- C.S. Lewis

Ohmega Watts

"We're all instruments of God and as any musicians instrument, we should be tuned to operate properly, so that can translate to our spiritual walk to our habits."

Are We All Forgotten?

Years ago I met my lover
On the banks of the stormy Jordan
Years ago I met my lover
How I wish that we could meet again

Have I lost my faith in you?
Are we all forgotten to?
Don't you break my heart
Don't you break my heart again

I still believe that change can happen
Though it's hard and it happens slowly
I still believe forgiveness comes with love
And God when it washes over me

If we've all forgotten you
Are we all forgotten to?
Don't you break my heart
Don't you break my heart again

So what are you waiting for?
So what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
So what are you waiting for?
What are you waiting for?

Don't you break my heart
Don't you break my heart again

Mad Props To Pi Patel

I have a tendency to abandon God when I feel lost. Within days of false loneliness, I run for the hills. I give up. And in those moments I find myself more miserable then ever. When I give up or show signs of hesitation, I expect God to walk into the room and reassure me that he is with me. Time and time again I come to the hard realization that he doesn't do that. He will not give me a sign when I throw temper tantrums. That is not how he works. Since I have started my walk with Christ, I'm discovering how God really operates. And expecting him to show me constant signs is not growth. It will not teach me how to depend on Him and to have faith.

So I am learning new things and going through spiritual trials. My newest lesson is to really trust in Him even when my life seems stagnant or aimless. One of the biggest ideas of Christianity is faith and that is something I tend to forget.

When I run away from God, not only am I hurting but he is hurting too. He feels that abandonment. And when I come stumbling back, I feel like I am back at square one. I become skeptical all over again. I try to apply my own ideas and superstitions to my walk. Which ultimately leads to breaking everything down and re-learning and discovering the true teachings of Christ.

A few evenings ago I had a mental breakdown. It was terrible. Only negative thoughts we're coming into my brain. I was furious at God. Pissed about what I have gone through and why I don't deserve it. Pissed about my money situation and how I still feel lost in life. And I yelled and kicked and screamed and nothing happened. I just fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning, I felt different than the night before. I felt blessed about my job and my family. I felt happy. And that's when I realized that God has blessed me and I can't look for the negative things. I have to focus on Him and all the wonderful things he has put in my life.

And I have been wondering, how long will God chase me?

Why should I continue to run away when He is always by my side?

And where is my faith?

Maybe I haven't reached the next level because I keep falling. I take three steps forward and then four steps back. So maybe in realizing that my next area of growth is to stop running away when things look bad is my new conviction. It is my growth. God has blessed me.

Thank you, Lord.

Getting Up

I like to watch everybody gravitate towards you
Your magnetic presences make them come thru
The same way you got them
You got me too

Thanks Melatonin! (You Placebo, You)

Many nights I have stayed awake because of my wandering mind. And I turn on the T.V. and watch in complete horror. Flashes of fast food commercials and infomercials. Images of skinny women and muscular men and they're all using vagisil and taking viagra. Why I am always being sold something? You cannot buy me!





...if only I could sleep.

Lists (Because I'm Bored)

Books that I have read since May:

01. Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell
02. Sex God - Rob Bell
03. Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) - Joshua Harris
04. Welcome To the Revolution - Brian Tome
05. Kitchen Confidential - Anthony Bourdain
06. the Ragamuffin Gospel - Brennan Manning
07. Searching For God Knows What - Donald Miller
08. Soul Cravings - Erwin McManus



Books of the Bible I have read and re-read this summer:

01. Matthew
02. John
03. Ecclesiastes
04. Revelation
05. Romans
06. Genesis



Movies I have seen in theaters this summer:

01. the Hangover
02. UP
03. Star Trek
04. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
05. Bruno
06. Moon
07. Public Enemies
08. Harry Potter
09. Ponyo
10. the Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard


Albums that I have discovered and have come to love this summer:

01. Artists & Authors - Beauty In Everything
02. Bonobo - Live Sessions EP
03. the Grouch & Eligh - Say G&E
04. L.A. Symphony - Composition #1
05. MGMT - Time To Pretend EP
06. Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson - self titled
07. Ohmega Watts - the Find
08. Ohmega Watts - Watts Happening
09. Paper Route - Absence
10. Ray LaMontagne - Gossip In the Grain
11. Tanya Morgan - Brooklynati
12. White Lies - To Lose My Life

Daryl Palumbo

"This is a new garden over old flowers. And old makes the old jokes take on the feel of the lore. And new lips a cradled sense of humor, so don't waste wishes on him. Wish that one day they'd figure out how to shrink stars and I could keep one in my bedroom. And wish that me and her grow old together. And wish that in my next life I come back as a tiger. These are fun wishes. In about seven minutes you can start. 'Til then, you'll just listen to the radio from seat's edge. As if then it's the look on your face. As if. As if then you'll matter... and then I can't wait."

Soul

I keep putting myself through hell for no apparent reason. Long days and late nights of misery. And it is literally killing me. Chopping off chunks of my soul. It has slowed down since I was younger but it needs to stop completely. It is in someway denying God. Telling him that I have found something better. But the truth is... I haven't found something better. God is best thing we all have. Nothing is higher or more important than him. Nothing is greater than God's love for us. And I have prayed for this to pass. I have prayed for divine intervention. I asked and I received.

Recently, right before I committed suicide of the soul, an angel came to my home and saved me. We discussed music, drugs, siblings and friendships while enjoying some root beer and waffles. We laughed and spoke of the great pleasures of life. She saved me. She saved me from taking an axe to the soul. God sent her. Right before I gave up... he showed me mercy.

My soul is worth saving. Your soul is worth saving. God wants to save us. He wants to water our souls like flowers. You and I are walking around craving something. We all long for something. We usually think its a car or a significant other but really our souls are crying out for God. We are thirsty. And if we deny ourselves the love God has for us, we dry up. We wither way like a dead flower. We become cold hearted and unhappy. We lose sight of what's real.

If your thirsty, ask for some water. Ask God for help. He will always come through. He provides. He sends angels. He sent me an angel with a watering can.

Fractals

What happened to my love
It disappeared
I can't get it back
But if I could
I'd give it to you again

Optimism

Right now I feel more in the dark about the past few years than I have ever felt. It all seems so mysterious. I thought I knew what was going on. I thought I knew how certain people felt about me, how they felt about themselves and about their own personal goals. But right now... now I feel like its one giant mystery. It could take me years to decipher what it all meant and who was telling the truth. Or it could take me one moment. It all depends if I decide to analyze it. It is all in the past though. Maybe If I figure some things out it will better prepare me for the future. I'm not sure at this point.

I also feel like a true individual again. When you go through life with another person for a period of time... your thoughts and ideas blend together. You think the same. You go to the same places. You eat the same food. You socialize with the same people. But recently I have started to do "Drew" things again. So far it hasn't been bad. But it hasn't been amazing either. In due time it will become very precious to me. It was before. And it will be again. I have found myself turning my phone off for days on end to give myself breathing room. I couldn't have done that awhile ago. Its nice. I need "Me" time. And "Me" time has been evolving into time with God. Its good stuff. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I wonder what the consequences will be of putting all my thoughts and experiences into a blog for everyone to read? I guess Im not too concerned. I have nothing to hide. I hope that anyone who stumbles across it will find some insight or at least an interesting story or poem to make fun of. Its my way of expressing myself. Its my way of telling the world my story. It seems like a good portion of people like to talk about themselves. No one really seems to ask me any deep questions. Its all small talk or surface stuff. "Whats new?" or "How's school?". Those are not deep questions. I like deep questions. So instead of locating someone who finds me extremely interesting, I will blog about everything I do, see and feel. And they can come and go as the please. This is not an attack on anyone. But here is a word of advice... ask better questions. Be more interested in other people. Open your mind and listen to someone else's story. I do it all day and I enjoy it immensely. That's why I have a blog. To release it all. I like people and I want to know them. Do you?

Goodnight.

2:00 am

It's not that I need to love someone (although I do)... it's that I'm missing being loved by someone else. It's gone. And I miss it. I want to know that I am important. There is no need for you to be so independent. Dependency is not a bad thing. You can depend on me if you want. In fact... I want you to. I want to be there for you. Call me if you're scared. Talk to me if you're lonely. I am still me. I haven't gone anywhere. And I am done burning bridges. I am done looking for happiness in materialistic things. I am done wasting time. But I'll never be done being there. For you or anyone else. Its all relational right? I'm diving in head first. And the days where my sin is running rampant... I lose connection. I become lost. Within days I become a zombie. If I keep my eyes on God.... everything else falls into place. I have tested it. I have seen it and felt it. It's very real. The nights I run have shown me that I'm still human. The nights when I don't think I can make it... I push through it and I feel like a monsoon. Its all work of a beautiful creator. Its one giant painting. I see art. I am art. You are art. I'll leave you with one question. What is more beautiful: A lonely lover or a lovely loner?

Godly Thoughts (Maybe)

Knowledge:

For all the things I think I understand and don't understand... it all turns out to be nonsense. The only real understanding I have is that God is patient. Every wrong thought will be corrected and God will continue to turn those lousy ideas and half-truths on their head. I am truly lost without God. In the gospel, Jesus talks about being like children, which I think I can apply here. Children are always continually learning and growing. We, as adults, need to find that innocence. We need to learn and ask questions. We need to test it all out.



Insight:

Ben and I were discussing Fasting the other day and he was telling me in detail what he has experienced through Fasting and how it has changed him. After everything he told me, he told me one last thing which deals with the book of Ecclesiastes. As he was reading through that particular book while Fasting, God revealed to him that most things in life deal with vanity. Everything is lust and vanity. He went on to tell me that this was such a major insight for him and it helped him get over the daily ideas of buying clothes, cars, having materialistic lust and a personal image that he and everyone else is trying to pursue. It became so clear to him. It helped him remove those irrelevant ideas from his life. He is now much more into being a man of God and not so greedy and self-centered. Not only did this story give me insight, it really showed me what Ben has gone through as a christian. I love hearing stories like this. And I think Ben is right. When we focus on God... our self-image crumbles. It becomes so unimportant that we forget about it entirely. We need to mirror Christ, not rock stars. I'll be reading Ecclesiastes soon.



Family:

About 13 years ago, my mother had a choice. Two options. She could of hung on a little longer or escaped with my sister and I. God gave her these options and she made the right choice. God saved us. He used my mother to save us. But he also used us to save my mother. Even if she didn't feel worthy, she was. All of us were worth it. Everyone is worth saving. If you know someone who needs to be rescued... then save them right now! Maybe all they need is one person to reach out.


I love you mom. Thank you.

Life Goes On

"Time is very precious to me. I don't know how much I have left. And I have some things I would like to say. People say to me 'How do you get through life?' To me, there are three things we all should do everyday. Number one is laugh. Number two is think. And number three is you should have your emotions moved to tears.


Think about it. If you laugh, you think and you cry... that's a full day."

- Jim Valvano

Change

With this new shift... friends have disappeared. Ideas have imploded. Its slowing down. All of it. And I find myself sleeping with one eye open. But the sleep is better than ever. I cant imagine what it will be like with two shut lids.
My heart keeps shooting revenge in the throat. He is becoming weaker and weaker as my piggy bank is filling up. Filling up with hope and laughter. Not a laugh with "I told you so" trailing it. But a laugh from the pits of clarity. Laughter with vision. Vision of something different. Not bad. Not good. Maybe amazing. My family can see it. Can you? Everything with inside me feels it. Can you? My wallet smells it. Can you? I want it more now than ever. Do you?

I Feel the Same Way Mark

"I can live a whole month on one compliment."
- Mark Twain

End Of the Week Rant

A rant to shed some light (no spellcheck, no revision)



People will screw you over. Even the people who you think care about you. People will let you down. They are never 100% reliable or loyal. Be it friends, family, girlfriends, boyfriends, band members, pets, doctors, etc. You cannot rely on anyone except God. You could spend 50 years with someone and they could be gone tomorrow. Who knows why or where they went. God is the only constant. I could be pissed about what has happened to me in my life forever but it won't help anything. I could write out a big list of the people who have screwed me over in my whole life and... no, I take that back. I could give you a giant list of the people who have screwed me over since the beginning of 2009 and hold onto those bad memories forever. But that will not help me. It wont make me grow or continue to keep a kind soul. It will only make me bitter and miserable. I have been severely screwed (recently I may add). But you have been screwed too. And probably by someone you thought would never hurt you. But you have to forgive. You have to or it will consume you. Your whole life will be based on that hidden revenge. If we all walked around holding grudges forever we wouldn't have family, friends or anyone. We would keep everyone at a distance and that's not good. It is not good at all. It's lonely living like that. You have to let go. Be thankful for what bad things haven't happened to you. Be thankful for the things you do have. You might not notice right now but try to look at the good things. Its hard at first but if you try, you will notice. When life knocks you down, don't blame God. God doesn't control people's actions. Everyone is free to do whatever they want, whenever they want. Even if it's pure evil or selfishness. Pain is out there. Its all over. But so is love. If your not looking for love, you'll miss it. Instead of running from God, run towards him. If you look for him, you will find him. He is there. He wants you. I don't know what my future holds. I wish I did. But I do know that if I hold onto the pain and bitterness... It will kill me. And you know what, it doesn't matter how bad someone or something screws you over. It doesn't matter. Even if you think that person deserves the worst of the worst, you have to forgive them and let go of that hate. God is doing good things in my life. He is closing doors and opening new ones. I have been pursuing him more in the past two months than I ever have. And it's good. I have been letting go of the pain. It still creeps up and attacks but its becoming less frequent and less painful. I wont forget but I will forgive. Everyone is good and kind until proven otherwise. If you discover they aren't, you should continue to love them but keep your distance. There is no need to hate or single them out. Just keep your distance. Be cautious. Take care of yourself. Love everyone. Even if they don't deserve it. This is how things are supposed to work. God created us to love. God created us to be around people. God created you to be loving, kind and to care about people. Its only when we stray away that we hurt people and ourselves. I am not a religious nut. Im just telling it like it is. Telling the truth. And the truth can hurt. Its hard to swallow at first. But its still the TRUTH. This is a call out. A call out to everyone who feels hurt or screwed over. I have felt that way too. But I have discovered that God will free you. Your soul needs freedom and God has that for all of us. This is a call out for everyone to try to be more kind. To show more love. To be more friendly. To understand that we are all experiencing hurt. Put aside your fear, anger and hate let God take its place. Love is good and God is love.

Pain

My current mess is not fresh. Not fresh at all. It’s a very difficult mess. One giant messy mess. And although the storm isn't over, the damage is slowly being discovered and it has to be repaired.

During this mess I have been reading a book titled Sex God by author and pastor, Rob Bell. His book is perfect for me. It has opened my eyes so much. And even though I feel like I am walking thru complete darkness right now, I have found great messages inside of it. So today on my break, I was reading and I came across a section that jumped out and grabbed my heart. It struck such a huge chord in me. In all honesty, I teared up. The text seemed like it was written for me. ME!

Hopefully when I’m down and out I will remember to this.




"If you have ever given yourself to someone and had your heart broken, you know how God feels.

If you have ever given yourself to someone and found yourself waiting for their response, exposed and vulnerable, left hanging in the balance, you know how God feels.

The cross is God's way of saying, "I know what it's like."





I was completely shocked that this was written in the book I was holding. I witnessed a real miracle. It was quite breath taking. So what did I do? I kept reading.





"Our healing begins when we participate in the suffering of God. When we don't avoid it but enter into it, and in the process enter into the life of God. When we see our pain not as separating us from but connecting us to our maker.

And In this connection, there's always the chance we'll find a reason to risk again.

If God can continue to risk, then maybe we can too.

Perhaps you have had your heart broken by somebody. You risked and extended and offered yourself, and they rejected and turned away and didn't return your love.

There is something divine in your suffering.

Somebody divine in your pain.

You know how God feels.

Really good, loving people get hurt. It's how things are.

Maybe you are living in the wake of a relationship that fell apart. You have to dig those moments up. The parts that hurt and the awkward conversations and the anger and the failure and the misunderstanding and the betrayal. You have to dig them up and acknowledge them before you are ever going to heal.

The danger is that you will decide it isn’t worth it. Why risk if it's going to hurt like this? The tragedy would be for you to shut down, to allow a wall to build around your heart, and for something within you to die.

A decision not to risk again is a decision not to love again. They go together.

In matters of love, it's as if God has agreed to play by the same rules we do. God can do anything - that’s what makes God, God. But God can't do everything. God can’t make us love him - that’s our choice.

Love is risky for God too."





After reading that, my day looked a lot brighter. I felt amazing. I needed this! This was written for me. And the truth is, it makes complete sense. I now see how this is working and why there is so much pain. Maybe this mess will transform into love and growth. Maybe I will come out of this much stronger than before. Maybe God does feel my pain. Maybe I can forgive too.

I find comfort in this. I can see a resolution and a small light at the end of a long tunnel. I see freedom.

Album Reviews

.








311 - Uplifter



311 was probably my favorite band from the year 2000 till about 2005. Which is a good chunk of my high school years. I know all of their songs and I have seen them live 8 times. I was obsessed with them. And then around 2004 or 2005 I started to notice more people wearing their t-shirts and listening to their albums. People who didn't seem like they would like a stoner rock band. And I'll be honest, I was pretty upset. I know its cliche to feel that way but I was still pissed none the less. So I bought their last album Don't Tread On Me in 2005 and it was not the greatest album in the world. In fact I only liked maybe 3 songs off of the whole record. Most of the newer songs just sounded very poppy and radio friendly, which I hated! So the past few years I have been very skeptical of them and the future of their music. So I decided I would give them another chance with Uplifter, which is their newest album. It dropped June 2nd. I bought it that day and listened to it in my car on the ride home. I found myself absolutely disgusted. I didn't hear one good song. This album is the worst album I have ever heard! Do not listen to it. It is all recycled crap from a washed up band. They are in it for the money!

Am I being too harsh? I think not! When you invest your time, money, and love into a band for so long, you cant help but be critical once they start making dumb decisions. Oh, by the way. This is just my opinion so you might like the new album. But what I'm trying to tell you is that you will find this CD in the used Cd section everywhere in about a year. Just don't buy it.












U2 - No Line On the Horizon


To me, no album will ever be better than the Joshua Tree but this album comes really close. I love everything about it. The artwork. The black and white photos. The album name. The music. EVERYTHING! I think the last great U2 album was Achtung Baby which came out in 1991. Every album after that is fairly weak. And then they released No Line On the Horizon. It's a gem. I have been listening to it religiously since its release. If you don't like U2, you might like this album because its a great display of real music. If you do like U2, then I you HAVE to like it. That's the way it works!













Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion


Animal Collective is a great band. Animal Collective makes great music! Animal Collective could run a small country! Their new album has already changed my life for the better. Compared to their older albums, this one is a lot more upbeat and much more positive. Its a great album for a sunny day drive. The singing style on Merriweather Post Pavillion reminds me of the Beach Boys. And if you know me at all, then you know I love early Beach Boys songs. This band is weird and I love it. This album is amazing and I love it. And If you love yourself, you will buy this album.

the Lucky Seven #2

Cartoons:

01. Futurama
02. Family Guy
03. Cowboy Bebop
04. Sponge Bob Squarepants
05. Samurai Champloo
06. Ren & Stimpy
07. Darkwing Duck




Current Music:

01. Animal Collective
02. Blu
03. Natural Calamity
04. Jane's Addiction
05. the Boxer Rebellion
06. White Lies
07. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah





Guilty Pleasures:

01. Jumping on the trampoline 24/7
02. Mt. Dew
03. Cleaning constantly
04. Buying shoes
05. Eating Sushi
06. Spending all day in Barnes & Noble
07. And of course... Farting!





Items in my trunk:

01. Rollerblades
02. Cooler
03. Windshield wiper fluid
04. Dead bodies
05. Old gallons of drinking water
06. Dirt
07. Clothes for Goodwill





Reasons for life:

01. God
02. Family/Friends
03. Laughter
04. Sushi
05. Fresh kicks
06. Writing/art
07. Traveling





Things that don't matter:

01. Hatred/Haters
02. Dead musicians
03. Top 40 radio
04. Texting
05. This blog
06. This list
07. How well I skate





Hobbies:

01. Rollerblading
02. Reading up on music
03. Writing Poetry/Lyrics/Stories
04. Collecting sun glasses
05. Kendama
06. Hip Hop History
07. Collecting stickers

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

the Big Question

"What do I do now?"
- David Drew Farmer 05-13-2009

Greatest Quote Ever

"What is the difference between Jews and Christians? We all await the messiah. You believe he has come and gone, while we do not. I therefore propose that we await Him together. And when He appears, we can ask him: "Were you here before?" ... And I hope that at that moment I will be close enough to whisper in his ear, "For the love of heaven, don't answer." - Martin Buber

Update 2-23-09

Last year around this time I met my girlfriends roommate's best friend Chris. And during our conversation, he mentioned to me that he was a pescetarian. When I asked what that was he explained to me that he does not eat beef, pork or poultry but he ate fish. He claimed he still ate fish because he still really enjoys fish and at the same time feels that maybe killing and eating fish is not as bad as killing and eating a land creature. I found this lifestyle very interesting and appealing. I liked the idea of self control. Training your body to do what YOU want. So I decided to stop eating meat. My reasoning along with the self control factor was because I truly felt that we, as a society don't really need meat in our diets anymore. We are too advanced for that. At the same time I was really questioning my faith. I wondered if eating innocent animals was a sin. Does it upset God or does he even care? Am I looking too far into this? I wasn't really sure.


I also didn't like the idea that all the meat in fast food restaurants are pumped full of preservatives and chemicals. It just seemed very unnatural. It scared me. My decision was made. No one could change my mind at that point. But I did decide to continue to eat fish. I truly loved seafood and fish and I still do. I love it much more than any other type of meat. That was literally my only reason. You can hate me or love me because of that but I don't care either way.


The first few months were a little difficult. One evening while I was at Bonefish Grill in Oakley with my girlfriend Briana, her mother Caren, Briana's Grandmother and Great Aunt; I ordered some Salmon and corn. And man! was it amazing. I was inhaling the corn because it was absolutely delicious. I asked for seconds on the corn. After I received it, Caren happened to say something along the lines of "I think there is bacon in the corn." So I waited until the waitress came back around and I simply asked her if there was "bacon in the corn?" She responded with, "Oh yes! It's great isn't it?"


Wow! That's awesome. Hahaha. Well that was incident one. I wasn't discouraged though. Its understandable that these things would happen. I continued on my diet of PB&J sandwiches on whole wheat bread. Occasionally enjoying a burrito from Chipotle. But after several months of my burrito love affair, I found out that the pinto beans that I always enjoyed were cooked in some type of meat grease or well, something close to that. I was horrified! All those months that I thought were good and pure, went down the drain! I was a upset but still, I didn't lose sleep over it. I decided to put black beans on my burritos from then on. That was the second and last major incident I can think of. I have done very well since then.


Recently I have been trying to save more money for school, a camera and a small vacation to Ventura, California with Briana. My first step in saving money? Pack my lunches for work. This is not hard at all except that my entire family eats deli meat and there really isn't anything else to eat in our house. Plus If I do decide to eat out, its not cheap. I found that the only places to go are Panera, Noodles & Co., McCallisters, and any type of breakfast food restaurant. Eating at these specific locations can be expensive. But If I grab a deli sandwich from a local deli or a burger, I'll generally save a few bucks.


So last week I made a conscious decision to eat a turkey sandwich because I didn't want to go out. And Ill have to tell you, it was pretty good. And a day or two later I had another turkey sandwich and It was also really good. I took it slow because I know some people who didn't eat meat for a long period of time and then got sick when they ate it again. A few days ago I mentioned to Bri that I had a turkey sandwich and she seemed surprised but not upset. I am sure she doesn't really care what I consume, as long as it doesn't kill me or make my farts worse than they already are. I also think that since it has been roughly one year since I stopped, maybe eating meat again isn't a bad thing. I have proven to myself and others that I have self control and I can take things seriously. But I have also shown myself a dedication which I never knew I had and that means a lot to me. So meat is back on the menu for me but I am still not sure If ill eat beef. Beef still scares me. Only time will tell.

the Lucky Seven

Comfort Food:
1. pizza
2. cereal
3. waffles
4. grilled cheese
5. ramen noodles
6. PB&J
7. burrittos


Rollerbladers I Look Up To:
1. Pat Lennen
2. Aaron Feinberg
3. Mike Obedoza
4. Chris Haffey
5. Robert Guerrero
6. Eric Bailey
7. Ben Schwab


Little Known Facts:
1. I can sleep 12-15 hours if given the chance
2. I judge people by their shoes
3. Im not a fan of NASCAR or country music (they both cause cancer)
4. Goatees are so 2004
5. I truly enjoy driving and listening to music
6. I am slowly working on a Hip Hop EP
7. The older I get, the less I am interested in video games


Favorite Words:
1. "RUN!!!!!"
2. fart
3. wow (thanks to Jarrod)
4. baby
5. generally
6. technically
7. hmmm


Loves:
1. Jesus
2. Mom
3. Girlfriend
4. cookies
5. Seinfeld
6. back rubs
7. Friends?


Movie Scenes:
1. Romeo + Juliet - Beach scene where Mercutio is stabbed.
2. the Big Lebowski - When Walter smashes the red sports car with a crowbar.
3. Chasing Amy - 4 way intersection scene. (So funny!)
4. E.T. - When ET leaves earth and Elliott Cries. (Classic)
5. Half Baked - Feeding the horse
6. Super Troopers - Intro scene
7. Vanilla Sky - Empty Times Square scene


Chill:
1. driving
2. girlfriend
3. skating
4. Diverse (MC)
5. Autumn
6. waffle house
7. Seinfeld (AGAIN!!!)

My Two Cents 2-12-09

You could call me a radical in a way. If you do, it is only because my ideas are uncommon or simply not spoken. If anyone feels the way I do, they need to speak up now. Too long has the Democratic and Republican parties controlled OUR country. Conservative and Liberal ideas are dated and unrealistic in today's world. As a society we need to move on. One common trait a true Democrat and Republican share is a biased view. Which, in my opinion, is a major flaw. I have grown up in a conservative home while at the same time, having friends that are generally liberal leaning. Being stuck in the middle, you tend to notice ignorant ideas among both sides. Although some ideas can be accurate, it is still rare. This is not an attack against anyone. I am not trying to stir anything up. I am simply trying to pursue a better future for our country. Too many times does the level headed, self appointed "middle of the road" person vote for a candidate who is NOT middle of the road. Why is America obsessed with these two parties? When will we truly vote for who we want or agree with? Ignore & avoid influence at all costs! For once, sit down and really weigh the issues. Figure out who you really want running our country. Do the research. Voting for a government official, whether it be a President, Governor, Mayor should not be like American Idol. WE ARE NOT VOTING FOR ROCK STARS!

Take Five

Necessary Liquids:
-Water
-Mt. Dew
-Milk
-Orange Juice
-Tea




Movies I've Seen In the Last Week:
-Airplane!
-the Wrestler
-Waiting For Guffman
-MILK
-Stray Dog





Reasons To Move To Cincinnati:
-People are nicer than on the coasts
-It's affordable
-I live here (come and see me)
-Good record shops
-You can experience all 4 seasons in one week (it's pretty trippy)



Schedule During the Week:
-Working
-Spending time with my lovely girlfriend Briana
-Discussing movies (my personal favorites and the one I am currently working on)
-Eating
-Sleeping





Guilty Pleasures:
-Watching Mayazaki Movies
-Eating Noodles & Co. every day
-Driving way too fast
-Arguing with my manager Doneil about "Who's a better actor?"
-Surfing the web endlessly

Hey Jarrod!

This is it guy.



01. Yak Ballz – Dirt Empire
02. P.W. Long With Reelfoot - Aw Bruiser
03. Poems – Heart Art
04. Frank Black – Los Angeles
05. Felt – Morris Day
06. Faces – Oh La La
07. Eliot Lipp – Times Four
08. The Boxer Rebellion – All You Do Is Talk
09. A Tribe Called Quest – God Lives Through
10. The Walkmen – the Rat
11. Tapes ‘n Tapes – Cowbell
12. Sage Francis – Product Placement
13. Roxy Music – If There Is Something
14. Peter, Bjorn & John – Amsterdam
15. Page France - Jesus

My Favorite Hip Hop Albums

1. Jay-Z - Reasonable Doubt

We all know Hip Hop very well. Either you like it or you dont. I was never a huge hip hop fan in my early teens. I knew of certain rap songs but nothing seemed good to me. I was the guy who always said "all music is okay except rap". Then one day in high school a friend of mine loaned me Reasonable Doubt by Jay-Z. At that point I thought Shawn (Jay-Z) Carter seemed very fake and full of himself. I only knew of a few tracks by him and none of them interested me at all. Well I went home that day with Reasonable Doubt playing in the car and I'll admit, something happened...I liked what I heard. The first thing that I noticed and liked was Jay-Z's voice, he sounded much younger. He had more energy and everything seemed clear. I actually understood what he was saying. Granted the songs we're about drug dealing, women and money but Jay-Z was living a very different lifestyle in 1996. We all know he has grown a lot in 12 years. I wanted to ignore the subject matter but, I knew Jay was being honest in these songs. He was discussing the difficulties he went through as a drug dealer while at the same time trying to be a moral person. His true self didnt enjoy dealing drugs and killing his own people with crack but when you're in a situation like him, you have to survive. The albums messages were apparent and I couldnt help but relate to Jay-Z's honesty. I still focused on his flow and the beats more though. He had a certain way of rhyming on Reasonable Doubt that I still cant put my finger on. His flow was fast but yet understandable and I picked up on the words right away. I had memorized more than half the lyrics on this album in one weeks time. The music on Reasonable Doubt almost feels soulful...like a gospel album. The music and the beats put me in a trance the first day I heard it and still does to this day. When I listen to this album, I get a visual that I always like. Reasonable Doubt paints a vivid landscape for me. This album is to blame for my love of hip hop. That is why it clocks in at number 1. Jay-Z has always had my respect since that day. He can flow very well and the fact that he never actually writes any of his lyrics on paper always blew my mind. If there is anyone who dabbled with underground status and mainstream status at the same time...it's Jay-Z. I know fans of both worlds who all agree Reasonable Doubt is a masterpiece. If you like East Coast gangster rap or like amazing hip hop beats then check this album out now!

Top Tracks: "Feelin' It", "Dead Presidents II", "Regrets"







2. Pigeon John - ...and the Summertime Pool Party

Pigeon John is a rapper from California and he is very different than other MC's in the hip hop world. He is one of the most unique hip hop artists in our time. He is refreshing, funny and at the same time, smart. He raps about pool parties, hip hop shows, paying bills, dancing like a pigeon and meeting God in the rapture. If you think about it... he covers everything! This is the first Pigeon John album I ever purchased and it's absolutly amazing. He is so fun to listen to, all the while making you concentrate on the subject matter. I also love the fact he doesnt cuss and he is kind of a nerd. He is actually cooler than most rappers becuase he isn't trying to be someone else. He is honest with the audience and himself. If you think all hip hop is drugs and money, ...And the Summertime Pool Party will definitely change your mind about hip hop.

Top Tracks: "Do the Pigeon", "Freaks! Freaks", "As We Know It"






3. Boogie Down Productions - Ghetto Music: the Blueprint Of Hip Hop

Have you ever heard a hip hop album without slangs and "street lingo"? Well if you havent, you need to hear Ghetto Music. It literally was the first hip hop album I heard and completely understood what was being said. The Boogie Down Productions started in 1986 and consisted of 3 members. The MC was KRS-One, Producer and beatboxer D-Nice and the late DJ Scott La Rock, who was gunned down in 1987. This particular release only has KRS-One and D-Nice. In the liner notes, KRS-One dedicates this album to Scott La Rock. The album is very anti-gang violence which im sure was a major issue for them after there DJ and best friend was murdered a few years earlier. It also deals with Police brutality, racism and trying to maintain peace in America. After hearing this album I noticed an obvious connection between this album and Sublime's 1992 release, 40 oz. To Freedom. The lead singer of Sublime, Brad Nowell, used some similiar vocal sounds of KRS from Ghetto Music. There is even a song called "KRS-One" on 40 oz. To Freedom which is dedicated to the MC. KRS-One has obviously had an influence on the hip hop community but he clearly has influenced rock and reggae also. Ghetto Music is a very conscious yet simple. It truly is a hip hop classic. If you're only listening to Lil' Wayne and other youngblood MC's, try this album. Learn your hip hop roots. You will not be let down!

Top Tracks: "Who Protects Us From You?", "Bo! Bo! Bo!", "You Must Learn"







4. Cage - Hell's Winter

Chris (Cage Kennylz) Palko has had a rough life. His dad was a heroin addicted army freak who held his son (Cage) and wife at gun point back in the early 80's. Cage's dad definitly affected his outlook on life, which is why Cage was in a mental institution in late 80's and early 90's. The instituion is where he learned to rap and rap well! On Hell's Winter, he paints a picture for you and it is quite disturbing. This was an album that creeped me out when I first heard it. I'll be honest...it still does. The beats are eerie and the lyrics are brutaly honest. Some might say its Cage's gimmick but it seems very real to me. Cage also had a fued with Eminem back in the late 90's but I have yet to notice any songs on Hell's Winter where he brings it up. Originally Eminem claimed Cage was stealing his style and image. Cage never directly commented but he did diss Eminem on a few older underground released tracks. The fued seems to be forgotten about at this point. One thing Cage and Eminem do have in common though is controversy. Cage received a lot of heat for his prvious efforts where he used the word "bitch" and "slut" quite often. Hell's Winter is his first album to not have the word "Bitch" on it. Cage definitely started out rapping with more of a bragadocious and sexest approach. He clearly has left the Misogyny in the past which is a great decision on his part. He seems to finally be growing up while taking us along for the ride. Hell's Winter is Cage's biggest release so far and it's definitely his best. The production is top notch and the lyrics are so honest that you cant help but listen closely. Listening to this album is like watching a train wreck...you just cant look away. If you enjoy underground hip hop or hardcore rap, check Hell's Winter out now.

Top Tracks: "the Death Of Chris Palko", "Peeranoia", "Hell's Winter"








5. Sole - Live From Rome

Don't let the title scare you, it's not a live hip hop album! This was the last Sole Record I have purchased simply because I didnt want a Live album. Once I put it in my CD player, I was shocked to find great music with no live sounds. I regret purchasing this last because it is literally my favorite Sole album. I have never been a fan of Live recordings. My motto is..."If it's live, I should be there". Live From Rome is all over the place musically. There are some beats that sound like a cat could of made, not to mention all the old hip hop and soul samples. Sole has always picked some weird beats for his albums and this one is no stranger to wierdness. One of Sole's tactic's is not rhyming. It sounds crazy, I know, but he doesnt rely on rhyming which I find absolutly amazing. He see's himself as a poet, not a rapper. He feel's a negative connotation with the term "rapper". I dont blame him. In todays world, Hip Hop is looked at as noise, a gimmick or simply, a pop culture nuisance. Sole is completely on the other side of the pop culture spectrum. Most Hip Hop fans dont even know of Sole because his music is so different. Live From Rome was originally released in 2005 but he is releasing all his new albums staright out of his basement. He is taking a step backwards in the distribution dept. He always does something wierd and different, which I respect whole heartedly. This album has some of the greatest and most interesting lyrics ever written. I could quote lines from this album all day if you let me but, I wont do that. I want you to find them and hear it for yourself. Support Sole and purchase this album ASAP.

Top Tracks: "Sin Carne", "Manifesto 232", "Atheist Jihad"





Runner Ups...







Nas - Illmatic










Aesop Rock - Float











Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty











Del - Both Sides Of the Brain












7L & Esoteric - A New Dope











De La Soul - Stakes Is High












Blackstar - Blackstar
















Mars Ill - Raw Material













DJ Danger Mouse - the Grey Album

Brain Fart

Is it preying mantis or praying mantis?

Fart Sauce

I care about all my friends very much...
But I cannot be someone's puppet.
End of story.

Flying

First class isn't safer.

Update 2-11-2008

My shoes are falling apart.
I am currently reading Choke.
My breakfast was large and fast.
Hayley missed the bus.
Im not buying skates.
taxes...taxes...taxes.
I miss warm weather.
I am no longer the center of my universe.
Is my car stereo broken?
Road rage is my current disease.

Into the Wild

I just finished the book Into The Wild written by Jon Krakeur. I saw the movie Into The Wild a few months ago in theaters and I fell completely in love with Christopher McCandless' story. So i decided to read the book that inspired the movie. The book was great, one of the better books ive read recently. I can't deny that there is a part of me that wants to run off and live off the land... prove to myself that I can handle it. I think a lot of people feel that inside them...but Christopher McCandless was crazy enough to do it. Several people from Alaska claim that he was an idiot for not surviving in the wilderness during the summer in Alaska, but what they fail to realize is that he lived in the wilderness for almost 120 days. I doubt they could last as long as he did with a small amount of suplies. I highly suggest this book to everyone, its not everyday you read about someone like Chris McCandless.